The seven levels of sexual mastery

We’ve got a pretty immature attitude towards sex in our society, everyone’s focused on the hardness of the erection and size of orgasms. And while strong erections and big orgasms are great, they’re more the icing on the cake - and without the cake the icing itself isn’t very satisfying.

You’ll never grow to reach your sexual potential if that’s where your focus is.

Bring on the seven levels! So, rather than getting stuck down in those coloured-belt levels, trying to master the ‘tricks’ without having the underlying self-development, these seven levels of Black Belt give you a structured pathway to evolve as a lover, to develop the understanding, knowledge and awareness that you need to attain sexual mastery.

"Every man can become the ultimate lover - a Black Belt in the Bedroom!"

“The path to Mastery starts with mastery of self.”

It all starts with you - having a positive sense of self, centred, confident, balanced in your yin and yang elements. In this level we'll be looking at what it is to have mastery of self and how you get there:

• you'll learn about mindfulness and presence so that you are really in your body right here, right now,
• you'll learn how you can use your breath to keep you present and to moderate your state of being,
• you'll learn how to really connect brain and penis so that you're working as a team,
• you'll learn to 'solo cultivate', the art of mindful masturbation.

You'll develop the side of yourself that I call 'The Gentleman', a man who is confident, centred and self-aware.

“Unless a man meets his partner with equality, he cannot proceed further.”

Once you've got the hang of yourself, you need take that forward and 'meet' your partner - with equality, assessing for worthiness, co-creating safety so you can then explore with freedom. In this level we'll be looking at how the Master of the Encounter does this:

• you'll learn what sex really is, what it really is all about,
• you'll learn about consent and safety, why it's so important, and how to create it,
• you'll learn about the gaze, a key part of the encounter.

You'll develop the side of yourself that I call 'The Warrior' a man who is respectful, discerning, relaxed yet alert.

“Confuscious say: Man with pole stuck up ass is dud fuck!”

Once you've got that connection it's time to play - and you're not going to be able to do that if you're too serious, too in your head, or too laden with negative emotions of shame or pressure! In this level we'll be looking at what you need to be free and creative:

• you'll learn about how sex isn't a performance, you can't get it wrong!
• you'll learn how to maintain a 'whatever' attitude and why that gives you freedom to explore,
• you'll learn how to get rid of shame, so that you can be open and free,
• you'll learn about fantasy, what it is and how to use it,
• you'll learn about the good and bad of porn, and how to use it for good!

You'll develop the side of yourself that I call 'The Merrymaker', a man who is light, playful, shame-less and creative.

“The path to woman is through an open heart.”

This is where we really start to get to connection and where good sex takes off. In this level we'll be looking at how to become an expert on her, to really know her:

• you'll learn about combining the sex and love energies to create a really potent energy,
• you'll learn how to honour the feminine and understand female sexuality,
• you'll learn about listening and how to really pay attention so that you become an expert on your partner,
• you'll learn all about touch, a vital element of connection and female arousal.

You'll develop the side of yourself that I call 'The Lover', a man who is connected, compassionate, tender and attentive.

“The man who cultivates his garden will attract the birds and the bees.”

Once you know all about her, it's time to look at yourself, for the Art of Seduction is the art of getting someone to do what you want, for your mutual pleasure … In this level we'll be looking at the Art of Seduction, what it really means and how to do it well:

• you'll learn about the difference between desire and arousal,
• you'll learn how to contain and use your arousal,
• you'll learn the importance of 'beforeplay', what happens way before you get to the bedroom,
• you'll learn how to identify what it is you really want,
• you'll learn how to ask for what you want,
• you'll learn how to get what you want.

You'll develop the side of yourself that I call 'The Seducer', a man who is inviting, subtle, sensual, enticing.

“Play the instrument that is woman and be rewarded with the music of her pleasure.”

With all you've developed so far, now you can really master the Art of Sex, reveling in your skill at providing exquisite pleasure for your partner. In this level we'll be looking at the technical side of sex, and how, if you wish, you can explore some of the 'darker' sides of sexuality:

• you'll learn about women's bodies and how they work, including her 'three sexual gates',
• you'll learn to master her arousal and how to bring her to more than just 'orgasm' but to 'orgasmic states',
• you'll learn about power exchange and 'wicked sex', how to do it responsibly and skillfully,
• you'll learn to master intercourse, particularly the Art of the Thrust.

You'll develop the side of yourself that I call 'The Maestro', a man who is skillful, commanding, responsible and honourable.

“Only when he gives up attachment can a man be free.”

But wait - there's more! There is Beyond Mastery. There is Transcendence. In this level we'll be looking at the transcendent, mystical, spiritual possibilities of sex:

• you'll learn about letting go of craving, attachment ideals, projections, traditional concepts of 'masculinity',
• you'll learn about pleasure, potency, fluidity,
• you'll take this forward to the endless spiral of evolution, growth and pleasure...

You'll develop the side of yourself that I call 'The Transcender', a man who is open, vulnerable, porous, rapturous.