The Love Life Blog: real advice for real people. 


The Exquisiteness of a Relaxed Vagina

Jacqueline Hellyer - Sunday, August 27, 2017



When your vagina is relaxed and receptive it becomes the most amazingly sensitive organ, capable of experiencing subtle energies and generating beautifully exquisite sensations. Unfortunately, as the standard model of sex is for vigorous thrusting into the vagina, our vaginas tend to become “hardened” to subtlety.

Also, because of the focus on the clitoris, the vagina can get neglected. To the extent that some people feel that the clitoris is the only important sex organ for a woman and that the vagina is simply a vessel for the man’s penis to enjoy. So most of the attention goes on to the clitoris, with strong stimulation there to the point of orgasm, followed by intercourse until he comes. The clitoris is very wonderful, of course! But so is the vagina. I’d like you to reclaim your vagina as the wonderful, sensitive organ that it can be. read more...



Receptive is not Passive

Jacqueline Hellyer - Sunday, February 19, 2017



To awaken your body to subtlety and exquisite sensation, you need to have heightened sensitivity. This takes strong connection and deep feeling. There’s no way you’d get that level of connection and feeling through being passive. read more...



Women Are Not 'Naturally' Monogomous

Jacqueline Hellyer - Saturday, October 08, 2016



Let’s take a look at the widely held myth that women are not naturally promiscuous. 

First, a few biological facts:
 read more...



Is Porn Making Women Less Feminine?

Jacqueline Hellyer - Saturday, August 27, 2016

 

It seems to me that too much porn is making men less masculine and it’s making women less feminine*.

To have the ecstatic sexual experiences all women are capable of requires a woman to be soft, receptive, yielding. She has to feel safe enough to be completely vulnerable and thereby open herself up utterly.

Is that what we see in porn? Uh … no.

Now don’t get me wrong, when I describe a highly sexual woman in this way, I don’t mean the only sex she likes is incredibly soft. It can also be wild and wanton and absolutely full of abandon.

In fact, when a woman gets to her ultimate sexually, she becomes wild and free and completely unconstrained. That can lead to frenzied, passionate, delirious responses or it can lead to utter stillness with ecstatic sensations infusing the body with delectable pleasure, or anywhere in between. The thing is that it’s a true and real expression of a woman who feels confident enough in herself and in her partner to be able to go there.
 read more...



Love Your Breasts

Jacqueline Hellyer - Friday, April 08, 2016



Soft, rounded curves of femininity: breasts are the archetypal symbol of womanliness.

It’s probably the reason we women have so much trouble with them! They’re too small or too big, too saggy or the nipples are funny… We don’t pay them a lot of attention, and when we do, it’s generally negative thoughts.

In the Tantric tradition though, a woman’s breasts are her positive pole, and it’s essential that we focus positively on our positive pole (and that our partners do too). read more...



When A Woman Is Free To Be Herself Sex Takes On A Spiritual Dimension

Jacqueline Hellyer - Friday, March 04, 2016



When a woman gets to a level of arousal where she’s in a different ‘zone’ - love-drunk, in a heightened state, an altered state of consciousness - the sex changes.

There’s a different energy in that state, strange things happen. You can become aware of different sensations in your body: feelings of ecstasy and rapture, of transport and transcendence.

The description of this state sounds almost religious. read more...



Strength in Softness, Softness in Strength

Jacqueline Hellyer - Friday, January 15, 2016



I had an interesting few days recently, running a workshop for women, followed two days later with a seminar for men. 

For me it was truly wonderful to work with a group of 16 women over two days and feel and see them come more fully into the strength and softness of their femininity, and become more sexually confident and expressive. Such gorgeous strong feminine women! 

And then two days later to work with a group of 15 men for an evening of coming into the strength and softness of their masculinity, becoming more sexually confident and (according to feedback from participants and/or their partners) more sexually expressive. Such gorgeous strong masculine men! read more...



Reluctance is Not Frigidity, It’s Body Intelligence - She’s Not Ready!

Jacqueline Hellyer - Friday, October 30, 2015



I had a male client complain to me recently that after five years he still couldn’t get his girlfriend to want or enjoy sex. He said he’d tried everything - even anal sex and fisting, and she still wasn’t interested…

Oh boy, I think this guy was confusing sex with a porn shoot.

The poor girlfriend wasn’t frigid, she just wasn’t ready! Fortunately she was trusting her body and saying no, rather than going ahead and traumatizing herself. read more...



‘Invitation’ not ‘Penetration’

Jacqueline Hellyer - Friday, September 18, 2015



“Batten down the hatches! Prepare for penetration!!”

It’s not exactly how a woman wants to feel when in the throes of sexual pleasure.

For maximum pleasure we need to be accepting and welcoming, not tensing and preparing for combat. Yet the language we use around sex, encourages the latter not the former.  read more...



Female Bodies Are Sexual Pleasure Machines

Jacqueline Hellyer - Friday, September 11, 2015



The human body is a sexual pleasure machine, and the female body even more so than the male.

That may seem surprising if your concept of someone’s “level of sexuality” is determined by their “level of libido”. We’re rather too libido-oriented in this society.  
 read more...



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